I’m a mermaid


Alice Aquarius Photography

Make Me Beautiful Jane

Did you know that I am actually a mermaid? Or at least, I always imagine that I am. From the youngest of age, I’ve always held an affinity to the water, to the sea. Cool or warm, I love the way it flows over my skin and around my body. I love to soak and dive and splash. When I first learnt to swim, a doggy paddle was the extent of my capabilities. I hated swimming classes. I didn’t want to learn freestyle or breaststroke. I didn’t want to compete with the other children. I just wanted to play. I was never more of a child then I was in those classes.


My preferred method of swimming was to grip my legs together and jet myself through the water like a dolphin, like I imagined mermaids would do. I would wiggle my body, undulating from my chest, to my stomach, to my knees and then to the final kick of my feet. I would practice smiling under water and I always swam with my eyes wide open. I wanted to see everything. I would emerge from the water and flick my short cropped hair, hoping for just a nuance of grace, then I would hover, just my nose and eyes above water level, just enough to breath, but remain hidden, mysterious like.


As I grew older, the water still called to me, but I became happy dipping my toes in the break of the waves. I would run down the beach, my dog chasing behind me, her jowls flapping. She always seemed so happy at the beach, just as I was. The sea breeze was always a refreshment from a long day of stale classroom air. I no longer played in the ocean as I once did, but I still looked to her as a mythical figure, I still wished to be a mermaid. I would imagine cities under the sea, traveling with whales, frolicking with dolphins and exploring the deepest of caves. The sea was another home to me, as comforting as my mother.


I rarely swim now. I no longer live near the sea. I miss her call. I miss tracing my toes through the sandy shores and watching the waves break in front of me. I miss soaking my body, feeling the salt draw the toxins from my skin and the sun bleach my hair. I’m really a mermaid. I need the sea to survive. I crave her presence and so I find myself driving to see her at least once a month.


I’m the daughter of two sailors. I’ve lived by the sea, spent every evening in her company, prayed to her, feared her, and worshiped her. My name means ‘daughter of the sea’. I am a child of her. I’m really a mermaid.”


Alice Aquarius Photography

Make Me Beautiful Jane


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